Stop It

 STOP IT

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I am going to present an answer to a quandary that seems to have Black Women stumped. As I watch, in awe, as black women go at each other in desperate search for answers to the challenges of Black Motherhood, Mate Selection, Black fatherlessness, a 70% OOW birth rate and the burden of being held responsible for it all, I am called to wonder how come so few BW have considered the obvious. Rather the sit and argue over finding ‘solutions’ for what ails us and our communities, how come so few BW have simply said, "Enough. Is. Enough"? Why is it, that the answer is sitting right in front of our faces, yet receives almost NO consideration from the average BW?

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Well...since common sense aint common, and most BW seem to suspend all rational thinking when it comes to certain topics, I am going to spell out the solutions I believe will help BW and, NO.... it won't take another 200 years to do it.

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Just….STOP IT.

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Stop WHAT, you ask?

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First...STOP dealing with black males, at all. I mean... AT ALL. No sëx. No dating. No romance. NOTHING. STOP doing hard target searches to find a 'good black man'. Do what BM keep telling you do to and STOP 'choosing wrong' - and start "NOT CHOOSING AT ALL". Raise your sons if you have any, but discontinue all romantic aspirations with black males altogether. Do NOT 'vet' them with 90 day rules. Do NOT audition to be a wife for them. Do NOT cook, clean or 'support' them in any way. STOP fµck!ng them and entertaining their advances. DO NOT engage them in any romantic/sexµal manner at all. Just….STOP IT. That way, you don’t EVER have to worry about 'choosing' the 'wrong one', and you can finally give these dudes what they want. Since BM want to put all of the responsibility on you, listen to them and start BEING RESPONSIBLE. Simply ELIMINATE them from your mating/dating pool, and you cure all that ails you in one fell swoop. You cant 'choose wrong' from a dating pool you never 'choose from". STOP IT.

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Second...STOP birthing black males. I mean... AT ALL. No black male babies. STOP believing that YOUR womb will produce a 'different' type of BM then the majority out here. STOP pouring your love, time and energy, sacrificing YOUR personal dreams and goals for them. STOP allowing them entry to this plane of existence... AT ALL. Make sëx selective abortion standard operating procedure. It can be done. Girl children have been aborted/killed for thousands of years and continue till this day. STOP having black male children and STOP reproducing his image. STOP allowing him to use YOUR body as the 'vessel' thru which he gets here, and STOP letting him dishonor that gift by then turning around and blaming YOU for what’s wrong with the world. Simply STOP birthing him and that way, you cannot be blamed for how you raise him, who you chose to father him, and how the Black Community/Race turns out as a result. He thinks HE is the prize - that He is the "god' of the black community - The First Cause. Show them who their TRUE GOD is. Deny them access to your womb and access to this earthly plane and in 5 years, you'd see a COMPLETELY different 'Black' Man - and Black Race. See the movie "Children of Men' to understand. When the women no longer reproduce you, you become an ENTIRELY different creature. Show them the power YOU have and they will be humbled in your presence. FORCE Them to respect you and all that other mess they talk will dissipate - instantly. STOP IT.

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Lastly...STOP supporting black males. I mean... AT ALL. STOP rallying and protesting, defending and bailing them out. Your brother goes to jail? Bon Voyage. Your son acts a fool? Chuck up the Deuces. Your deadbeat father wants to reconcile? Ignore his calls. Your community organizers/politicians want your vote? Stay your ass home. Those entertainers want your money? Keep it in your pocket. Those athletes want your support? Turn the channel and watch rugby instead. Withdraw support from any and all black males asides from your under aged sons - and even when THEY reach adulthood, WITHDRAW SUPPORT. Remove any and all concern for the safety and welfare of black males and see how quickly they collectively fail without you. They have you convinced that you are such a horrible group of Women, and that its all YOUR fault that they are in the condition they're in. Welp - show them whats waiting for them when you remove yourself as a factor. And to help expedite the cleaning up of the Black Community, support any and all laws that allow them to be locked up. Invest in the Private Prison System and the Prison Industrial Complex. Vote for stiffer laws and longer jail sentences for their offenses. Help RID your communities of them, their criminality and their hatred of YOU. Hasten this process and you will SEE in a VERY short period of time, WHO they really are - and who YOU really are. STOP IT.

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I agree with Black Men when they tell us that its up to us and its all our fault and WE are the ones who are causing this mess. I agree with them when they tell us to ‘Stop Choosing Thugs™’ and how we are doing a terrible job of raising Black Boys. I agree with them. We as black women DO HAVE ALL THE POWER and we are NOT using it Wisely. Its true. They keep telling us, but we wont listen. If we would only listen to them and stop arguing and defending our position, we would finally see the truth in what they are saying and make different choices. Just not the choices THEY think we should be making. Every time they tell us to 'choose 'better', they are giving us permission to simply STOP CHOOSING THEM. They have already made it clear that they have no desire to BE BETTER, so it really isn’t that hard of a choice when you think about it. All attempts to get them to accept any accountability is deflected back to us. Every time they blame us for raising them wrong, they are giving us permission to make the hard choice and to simply STOP raising them...AT ALL. So accept the power that they give to you, when they hold YOU accountable for the downfall of the Black Community and utilize your Power to nip this sh!t in the bud. Every time they demand of you your support; every time they tell you to be the 'back bone' of the community, they are TELLING you that it is indeed, YOU, who is the GOD of the black race. They are telling you that like any human being, without a spine - a "backbone"… the black community will cease to exist. It cannot hold itself up and it cannot function as a organism without a spine. They are literally TELLING you that YOU are the center of their universe. They are giving you permission to accept that role and are encouraging you to exercise your power wisely. So do just that, and stop supporting, rallying, picketing, protesting, providing for and protecting them. BE the GOD they are telling you you are, and simply withdraw it all from them, and you will see just how quickly that attitude changes.

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STOP bartering, pleading, negotiating, compromising and trying to be pleasing to them. STOP trying to find 'balance' with them and STOP looking for them to be the leaders in your lives, your homes and your communities. STOP trying to save them and 'love' them back into wholeness. STOP promoting their image and stop protecting their interests. STOP rushing to defend them and stop fighting 'whitey' for them. STOP begging them to love you and STOP pleading with them to come home and do right by you and your children. STOP telling them how angry you are cuz they are with white women. STOP having their children hoping that will make them stay. STOP dumbing yourself down, trying to leave room for him to lead. STOP accepting his image of himself as God. STOP listening to him talk about ancient Black kingdoms and empires. STOP letting him convince you to worship Black Jesus, Black Muhammed, Black Yahweh, Black Imhotep, Black aliens any other 'Black' male image. STOP allowing him to slut shame you and place double standards on you. STOP promoting his Madonna/hoe ideology. STOP identifying with his struggle and marginalization in society. STOP letting him sleep on your couch after dropping out of school; move into you house so there will be a man there 'for the kids; giving him your car when you go to work; giving him money to 'look for a job'; giving him sëx so he will stick around; having his children so you can feel like life has some meaning; bailing him out of jail or filling up his commissary; protesting and rallying when something happens to him in the streets; fighting against 'unjust' laws that seek to hem him up; raising your sons children when he refuses to; being his 'Ride or Die Chic'; promoting him as the sexiest most virile man on the planet; and proving to him that These Ho's are INDEED, Loyal. And pleaaaaase…for the love of all things holy...STOP waiting for him to decide YOU are worthy of him and his foolishness. STOP telling him that no matter how bad he treats you... how destitute, broken and powerless he leaves you...how much he ignores interests or denigrates your image... how much he creates division amongst you using colorism and white supremacist beauty standards …how much he gives you herpes and AIDS... and kicks your ass... and abuses/neglects your babies...how much he violates your body and sexµally abuses you… how much he turns your communities into dens of iniquity... and creates living environments that are unsafe and full of despair...how much he uses you until he can trade you in for a lighter, brighter model … and how much he abandons you and the community as soon as he gets a little success...

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That you will ALWAYS "Love the Black Man" and how you will never 'abandon the Black Community".

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STOP. IT.

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By doing this, you have LITERALLY created the MONSTER that is killing you, your children, the Black Community and the Black Race. Your undying devotion and unconditional love for him will NOT make him love you back. It only makes him hate you more, because the price for your loyalty is so low that you become WRETCHED in his eyes. He sees no value in you because only a woman who sees no value in HERSELF would love a man no matter what he does to her or her children. He hates you BECAUSE you love him in his WRETCHEDNESS. He feels contempt for you BECAUSE you accept him on terms that no other man is accepted. You EMASCULATE him by not requiring of him what other men must produce in order to QUALIFY AS MEN. You think you're helping him by accepting this mess? What you are really doing is giving him reason to hate you - and himself, even more. And that's why the moment he gets the chance, he takes all he has to women of OTHER races who historically have demanded MORE from their men in exchange for her loyalty and love. He uses YOU on the come up, and then goes to HER to prove himself worthy.

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The reason why Black Males are so damned cocky, disrespectful and apathetic, is because BLACK WOMEN ALLOW IT. And the reason why we allow it is because we birth them and we dont want to admit that WE are the source of such an inferior form of human who will denigrate his own Mama and elevate every other woman BUT her. Our holding on is NOT because of him. Our holding on is because WE cant/wont admit to ourselves, that WE are not WOMAN enough to birth a male who will not turn on us the first chance he gets. It is not HIS image we are seeking to redeem through our loyalty.

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Its OURS.

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And we need to come clean about this, if we are ever to make it out of this situation we find ourselves in.

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Black Men will always tell you...

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"A man will only do what you ALLOW him to do".

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And he is RIGHT. He just doesn't expect YOU to realize what that TRULY means and what that could mean for HIM if you ever figured sh!t out. Black Women DO have all the Power, if we would just be Woman enough to use it. Only a compromised Woman allows what She births to devour Her. A Crafty Woman cuts off his access to her, thereby redirecting energy. A Woman who stands in Her Power would shut this b!tch down in an instant.

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Its time that Black Women show the Black Community who We really are by making it clear that It is NOTHING without Us. A few strategic choices on Our part, and all this sh!t Black people are constantly arguing about will get straightened out with a quickness!

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A few hard choices and all of these factions who talk all this smart mouthed sh!t about you, your Mothering, your Womanhood, your Beauty, your Value and your Worth will be humbled at your feet.

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NO Nation Rises Higher Than Its Woman.

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And when the Woman recognizes HER Power, her nation has but two choices;

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Respect it - or DIE OUT.

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They think yo' ass is 'bitter' now? SHOW THEM WHAT BITTER REALLY LOOKS LIKE.

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Its really quite simple, when you think about it. Black women need to be the cut throat b!tches of olden days and this sh!t will right itself in 5 years. Black Men will straighten up - quickly - or they will simply...

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DIIIISSSSAAAPPPEEEAAARRR… (ear…ear…ear…echo).

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They have no respect for you because they have no respect for yourself. You have no respect for yourself, so you have no respect for your Womb. They have no respect for your womb because their access to it is a forgone conclusion. Shut that sh!t down, and you will see what you are REALLY made of.

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STOP IT.

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It really is, just that simple.

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KSC © 2014.